Follow us on

Featured DVD Review: Suicide Girls Must Die

June 27th, 2010

Suicide Girls Must Die - Buy from Amazon: R-rated or Unrated

For those who don't know, Suicide Girls is the name of a... well... porn site. (They might call it something like, 'Erotic artistic nude photography', but it's porn, just like MET Art, Zemani, or Hegre Art, etc.) So am I reviewing porn now? No. Suicide Girls Must Die is a weird amalgam of behind-the-scenes of a photo shoot, Reality TV show, and Teenage Slasher. This setup alone makes me very intrigued, but how well is it executed?

The film starts with a teaser of how things will end before jumping back to the beginning. The Suicide Girls are doing a photo shoot for a calendar and they are doing it in the backwoods of Maine, because obviously none of them have read a lot of Stephen King. Each model is given a video camera in advance and told to record some of their preparations and while at the shoot, they are to record everything. Also, there will camera's everywhere to record the activity in and around the cabin they are staying at. It's the typical Reality TV situation so far. The only weird note is the isolation. Not only are they miles from the nearest town, but because they don't want any of the images posted on the net before the calendar comes out, there's no internet access, and since every cell phone made in the past decade can send photos, those are confiscated as well.

After a rather eventful bus ride to Maine (including an encounter with a cop that seriously needs to be fired) they arrive at their destination and the photo shoot begins. This is the Reality TV portion of the movie and we are subjected to the usual personality conflicts and so forth. It is also the porn section of the movie, so you mix and the good and the bad (not in that order). They also learn that they are not as isolated as they thought and that their neighbors are not exactly friendly to the idea of having this bunch of tattooed, naked, and to be honest, drunk ladies being at their lake.

It is also about this time that some of the models start to disappear. At first the other models think it is just them packing up and leaving because they are not having a good experience there. Then things become a lot darker for them.

The film is advertised as a mixture of Reality TV and Teenage Slasher where none of the models know about the second part. They all think it is really happening and their friends are really disappearing. ... No. Not buying that for a second. Right from the start, Amina is clearly in on it, because she's in charge of the photo shoot and there's a chance this movie was her idea. However, I'm 90% sure some of the models were in on it as well. ... make that 97%. First of all, I would be shocked if Bailey and Evan were not in on it. They are the first two to disappear, and they both did so after getting into fights with Amina. This creates a plausible reason for them to not be there anymore, other than, "There's a psycho killer about. I also think Bailey messed with the grave markers in order to create a reason for a psycho killer to want revenge. It sets up the plot too well for it be an accident. Likewise, James first floated the idea that something was wrong. It was her idea that was the seed that spread fear. And of course, when a model is chosen to be a victim, they are made away of what's happening.

And that's assuming they weren't all in on it from the very beginning, which is a possibility. In fact, I hope they are all in on it, because it would make watching this movie less creepy. Assuming some or most of the models were unaware what was going on makes this movie feel exploitative. This is the main problem I have with the movie. I'm not a fan of Reality TV in general and this is especially true of shows that are based on practical jokes (Punk'd, Jaime Kennedy Experiment, etc.). Here, the practical joke is almost malicious.

As for the pin-up portion of the movie, that also has problems. On the one hand, they are mostly well-done (the one with Evan throwing your plot induced diva fit was tiresome) and if you are a fan of the Suicide Girl website, then this will be a selling point. However, the mixture of beautiful women and horror is something I never went for. I'm not a prude, but I believe that the economic principle of, "Trade between specialized nations." I won't go into the details here, but I think it applies to entertainment as well. It is better to watch two movies, one pure porn and the other pure horror. If you combine the two, the horror elements dilute the porn, while the porn elements grind the horror plot to a halt. The is particularly true later in the film when the situation has turned south and we are supposed to believe that the models think their lives are in danger.

Maybe I'm over-thinking things. Yeah, I probably am.

I don't have the R-rated version of the DVD to compare. The Unrated version is about 10 minutes longer and I assume all of that is extended photo shoot scenes. And I also assume the photo shoots are not just extended, but more explicit. The only extras on the Unrated DVD are a 2-minute interview with Rigel, one of the models, and a 45-second slideshow of the PG rated results of the photoshoot.

The Verdict

Suicide Girls Must Die is an experimental film with its combination of porn, Reality TV, and horror. The execution isn't spot on, but enough works that if you are a fan of Blair Witch type horror movies in general, or of Suicide Girls in particular, then it is worth checking out. The Unrated DVD does earn that label, so its target audience will likely want to buy that version over the R-rated version.


- Submitted by:

Filed under: Video Review, Suicide Girls Must Die