Featured VOD Review: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
July 17, 2016
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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice came out on Video on Demand two weeks ago, but comes out on DVD, Blu-ray Combo Pack, 3D Combo Pack, or 4k Combo Pack this week. I’m reviewing the VOD, not because I got a screener, but because one of the people I game with watched it in theaters and demanded others in our group see it, so he’s not the only one to suffer. Is it really as bad as its reputation? Yes. Yes it is.
On a side note, I’m going to be less concerned about spoilers, because you shouldn’t watch this movie. Definitely don’t spend money on this movie.
The movie starts off with the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents, because of course it does. This isn’t an origin story, but we see their deaths anyway, because the screenwriter is a hack. We then move forward to the event of Man of Steel, but from the perspective of a now adult Bruce Wayne, who is racing to the city to make sure workers in his office building get out, because apparently he hires people too dumb to flee when there’s a fight going on outside that’s destroying buildings.
We then move forward again to present day with Lois Lane, who is in Africa trying to do something that doesn’t matter. (She’s entirely wasted in this movie.) It’s a trap set up by someone to get Superman, or at the very least turn people against Superman by framing him for the slaughter of a warlord and his men. We later find out Lex Luthor, Jr. is behind this. Lex’s second plan is to import some Kryptonite to weaponize it, but he’s blocked by a senator, so he kills her in a scene involving a jar of pee (I wish I were joking.) and again tries to frame Superman. When that doesn’t work, he kidnaps Martha and tells Superman if he doesn’t kill Batman, he will kill Martha. Fortunately, Bruce Wayne had a training montage, and Lex Junior’s stolen Kryptonite, so he’s ready for a fight.
Oh yeah, Wonder Woman is in this movie.
This movie is bad. This movie is so bad that I don’t really know where to begin.
Lex Luthor, Jr. is the worst part of the movie, both in terms of mannerisms and in terms of the writing. I cringed whenever he was on the screen. I know Jesse Eisenberg was looking to do something different than the current character we see in the comics and cartoon, which is basically stoic, but evil businessman, but something different isn’t better. Furthermore, while we are told he’s a super genius in this movie, his plot is painfully dumb, even before we get to his Cave Troll part of the movie. One of his “genius moments” was tricking the alien space ship’s security, but that only happened because the security is worse than the modern tech we have today, not because he was a genius. Part of the problem is the writing. I read a rumor that originally there were two bad guys in this movie. Lex Luthor and The Joker, but in a script revision, those two characters were combined into one. I believe that rumor; at the very least, it would explain some of the problems here.
On a side note, that party scene where Lex Luthor, Jr. introduces Bruce Wayne to Clark Kent... Who cares if those two meet? We know they are Batman and Superman, but in the movie, no one at that party should know that, so when Lex Junior is excited to introduce the two, the two super heroes should have both realized their secret identities were not so secret anymore.
Another serious problem in the movie is with Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne doesn’t have any super powers, but in the comic he’s able to stand up to super villains, because he’s really smart and always has a plan. In this movie, he’s a moron who can’t see Lex Luthor is playing him. The extended edition is even worse. I haven’t seen the original version of this movie, and you can’t pay me enough to watch it, but I did some research on the differences between the two versions of this movie. One of the key differences is Bruce Wayne getting a lot more information about Lex and really should have figured out he was being played. It’s a gaping plot hole. He’s obsessed with murdering Superman and then switches to being best friends way too quickly. Seriously, that Martha scene was painful to watch. It’s worse in the extended edition, because there’s a flashback to the funeral we saw the beginning of the movie, just in case we were too stupid to remember Bruce’s mom is also Martha. When the flashback began, I had to pause the movie and walk away. It was awful.
Superman doesn’t come across much better. He’s mopey and glum and not very interesting. His trek to the icy wastes to talk to Ghost-Dad is another one of those baffling scenes that should have been re-written or just removed from the movie. Also, why didn’t he tell Batman about Lex Luthor, Jr. right away. If I were Superman in that situation, the first thing I would have said to Batman was, “Why does Lex Luthor want you dead?” And why did Superman use Batman’s spear on Doomsday? Wonder Woman is almost as strong as Superman and is arguably the better fighter due to her reflexes. She could certainly have defeated Doomsday with that spear without dying. Oh yeah, spoiler warning, Superman dies, but not really. It’s dumb.
Speaking of Wonder Woman. ... Gal Gadot is the best part of this movie. I can’t wait to see her solo movie next year. ... Jeremy Irons was good as Alfred. The titular fight scene was okay, but not worth the two-hour wait. I watched it for the first time last weekend and it made me forget my tooth had cracked, in the same way getting hit in the balls will make you forget stubbing your toe. Okay, I’ve run out of nice things to say about this movie.
On last note, I know the Mother Boxes are different things, but I bet a lot of mainstream moviegoers will look at them and think they are a rip-off of the Tesseract from the MCU. There are already people saying you are copying the MCU, so don’t give them more ammunition.
I don’t have the DVD or Blu-ray, so I don’t know what the extras are, but I did see there is a ton of exclusive editions for this movie. The studio is really milking this cash cow.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is as bad as its reputation and the extended edition makes many of its problems worse, not better. Don’t buy or rent the DVD, Blu-ray Combo Pack, 3D Combo Pack, or 4k Combo Pack. If you are really curious, wait till it is on Netflix, so you don’t have money on it.
Video on Demand
The Movie
The Extras
The Verdict
Filed under: Video Review, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Kevin Costner, Holly Hunter, Amy Adams, Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Jesse Eisenberg, Gal Gadot, Jeremy Irons, Diane Lane